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Old Black Water


Suzie, I want to tell you

how frequently I pass the apartment

behind the supermarket

where we street-danced

to the Doobie Brothers,


light shifting as the fog

lifted, front-yard roses

iridescent in the salt-gray

seaside morning.


You died, what, ten years ago?

Not at once, really, though pills

took you quickly.  It began, I think,

when we were children: without

knowing why, we wanted out 


of that rural beauty— the narrow 

valley and gleaming stream,

summers spent diving off 

crumbling cliffs, as if nearness 

to death was the closest 

we came to leaving


your stepdad's beery fingers,

my Mother who loved 

to touch the sweaty chests 

of her daughters’ teenage  lovers.


Nowadays, everything

is a different kind of dangerous:

Rain stays away. June mist 

sucks away too soon, 

sunlight breaks through

before it should.


What I want to say, Suzie, 

is a moment, gone 

fifty years, is just a moment, 

but you’re still  here, unfleshed

in brightness—elfin, jittery, wan—


our arms looped as we turn 

tight circles, round and round,

your eyes locked on mine.


originally published in New Ohio Review




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